Sunday I threw a party to celebrate my 20,000+ followers on Instagram. "Overwhelming" is the best word I can use to describe my emotions from Sunday, and not in any negative connotations. I'm still not sure how to put into words how immensely grateful and ecstatic I am for the people in my life who support what I do.
My line of creativity is polarizing; people love me or hate me. I push the envelope and am unapologetic for my art and my body. The idea that 20,000+ people out there in the world have my back, feel something from my art, and are really fucking great cheerleaders blows my mind every single day.
The week leading up to the party was extremely taxing on me mentally. My anxiety and stress was through the roof. I was hoping for a few friends to come through, and maybe sell a couple prints, listen to some great music. We had roughly 40 (FORTY) people come by The Plus Bus on a Sunday evening. For real. I had so many people come out that I had a rough time making rounds for four hours. There were too many times that I held back tears of joy from all of the words of encouragement, praise, and accomplishment. (Right now I might be crying...)
I'm the first one to admit I have an ego, but this weekend humbled me. It's easy for me to forget that my work goes on the internet for thousands [millions] of people to potentially view. Moreover, it is easy for me to forget that a photo can have great emotional impact. I know, because I've felt it personally. I am forever thankful that during this point in my life, I can make another's life better, whatever that may be, through creating art.
This weekend there has been a lot of talk about "success;" how it is defined, what it means, when one reaches it. I don't know how I define my own success, or when I will know if I reached it. I don't know if receiving fan art or having 20k followers on IG means I have reached it. I feel like I have so much more to express. Maybe I need to adjust my idea of success, that success isn't finite, but is unlimited. Giving one person confidence means my art is successful. Reaching 20,000 people on Instagram was successful. Being published in multiple magazines was successful. Celebrating with friends, combining music, modeling, and good times was successful. My next goal will be successful.
Thank you for making me a success. Thank you for allowing me to feel the rush of success. Thank you for supporting me in order to be a success.
Here's to more.