It. Ain't. Real.

Adult friendships are hard.  It’s no longer “let’s be friends because we like the same fruit rollups.”  Now, we have to find someone we can trust with our secrets, our personal lives, our business/professional lives, and also be willing to do the same for them.  Being willing to find that person or persons is also a thin line to walk; you can’t be too eager to trust another without knowing they are trustworthy.

With that said, adult friendships within a catty, manipulative, clique-y, superficial industry like fashion are even more difficult.  People start befriending you with hopes of networking and connecting, putting up a facade of trustworthiness only to turn on you when things stop going their way.  “Users,” that is what I call those people.  They don’t like that word because it is the most basic and concise label to use on them and what they do.  Being a user in this industry could be the lowest of the low, and that is a label no one wants.  

It comes down to “treat others the way you want to be treated.”  Your mother told you this when you were a child, and it was all the rage in school.  So why do we lose this basic concept as adults?  I think it is because as adults we learn that we can manipulate others through words and actions; this manipulation shrouds our true selves and allows us to become users of our “friends.”  We find excuses to try to justify our actions and words.  Excuses are excuses.  No one cares why you’re being a dickhole, only that you’re being a dickhole.  

Some people just aren’t clever enough to get away with being bad people in this industry, though people won’t call them on it.  Why?  Because their “other attributes” make up for them being assholes?  C’mon now.  Let’s be grown-ups.  Well...not everyone has the same definition of “grown-up” either.  Just because you are over the age of 18, and happen to be able to feed yourself doesn’t make you a grown-up.  Making good choices, paying bills on time, having intellectual and emotional conversations, understanding responsibility, and being able to stand on your own (alone) makes a grown-up in my mind.  Adults and grown-ups are different.  I’m tired of having friendships with adults who can’t/won’t grow up.       

Then we get to social media.  Social media literally allows people to construct their lives.  Girl.  If you knew the real lives of these people you follow on social media, you would laugh in their faces.  

It.  Ain’t.  Real.  

You think I walk around naked in public with my hair and makeup done and a professional photographer?  No.  I don’t.  I have a Monday-Friday office job where I am in jeans and a tee most of the time.  If I brush my hair, it’s a good day.  Just because someone can photograph well doesn’t mean shit.  People living in Mom and Dad’s basement; going on dates to get free food; agents that take more than they should; photos posted of the one gig they got that month.  We gotta wake up and smell the reality.  Stop celebrating people for being beautiful and see them for who they actually are.